#not so much a review-review as it is just my rambley thoughts

[roseofblogging]

I've now seen Barbie twice and Oppenheimer once. They both left me with a lot of thoughts. It's also interesting how this cultural moment has got us comparing them due to releasing on the same day despite how different they are.

But not for the reasons we thought!!!

And I have my own thoughts!

I mean, yes, I knew going into Oppenheimer I was going to leave feeling heavy. I'm no expert on World War II history (I focused my history studies on the Cold War, and specifically Central/Eastern Europe), but we know the US bombed Japan, changing Japan forever. I've also watched the original Godzilla film in Japanese, Grave of the Fireflies, and plenty of other films focused on Japan's response to that traumatic and horrible experience. I can't shake all of that going into Oppenheimer.

I've seen some responses that the biopic goes too easy on Oppenheimer and the US, and while I never expected the film to have a specific anti-war bent (that would have been at odds with the person the film this is centering), it really effectively communicates the weight of the US possessing weapons of mass destruction. The pounding of the auditorium steps after the successful Trinity test, the shots of Oppenheimer imagining the audience dying as well as him stepping onto and breaking a charred body, the cacophony of cheers and terrified screams and stomping, and just...it was so, so much. I felt myself folding into myself, just so overwhelmed. It's such a good scene that carries through that emotional weight for the rest of the movie as Oppenheimer transitions into strongly advising against creating the hydrogen bomb in a race with the USSR. Not to mention all of the tension that underlies all US politics post-WWII in the era of McCarthyism, which still influences us today. Oppenheimer is not an easy film to watch.

But it's also strangely dreamy. Oppenheimer was a man who was wrapped more in ideas than in people themselves, and there are so many unreal, beautiful shots of particles, ripples on water, etc. There are also plenty of awesome (in the old sense of the word) shots of violence and impact from the atomic bomb.

Oppenheimer as a film is both complicated in how it portrays a complicated man, but it's also pretty straightforward in its morals and messaging, whereas Barbie hit me in ways I wasn't really expecting.

Barbie starts off incredibly dreamlike, and it sells the fantasy of Barbieland very well. The willingness to commit to the bit is one of the film's strengths in how it depicts that world (and then Kendom). But the movie, in my opinion, becomes less about Gender and more about our place in the world. Yeah, you can look at that through a gendered lens (both for the Barbies and for the Kens), but it's Margot Robbie's Barbie who decides to become a Creator, a Dreamer and not the Idea that others make. There's actually something very powerful about being an idea, but people will always be more complicated than ideas (maybe that's Oppenheimer the character's issue with women?). On her first foray into the Real World, Barbie sees that things are nowhere near as sunny as she expected. Women are of course not treated well, but even beyond that, from her spot at the bus stop, she sees a couple fighting, kids playing, two men laughing together in joy, and a person in intense concentration, ambiguous to me as to whether he's reading something and focusing or grappling with a heavy decision internally. The complexity of the world hits her as a tear rolls down her cheek (and mine!!!).

When I talk to people about Barbie, we all have such different thoughts on the film--especially for us women, nonbinary people, and both trans men and trans women. The doll is such a huge part of our culture and impacted us in different ways. Barbie has a complicated history that Greta Gerwig actually does a pretty good job of addressing. The Oppenheimer movie does not particularly look at the atomic bomb and its history with the same level of complexity; rather, Oppenheimer himself pivots from singlemindedly leading the research and creation of the bomb "for science" to then later singlemindedly protesting the hydrogen bomb. Yes, it shows him as a human capable of changing his mind, but doesn't get into the more specific nuances of it. He's first very for the atomic bomb and then very against the hydrogen bomb. Barbie, on the other hand, represents SO MUCH. Femininity both as power and as critique. Being everything (all of the different Barbies as a group) vs being one thing (Barbie as an individual, the character; made for a specific idea). Barbie as the trappings of gender roles vs. Barbie as uplifting. Barbie is everything, good and bad.

Yeah, there are issues with both films. Oppenheimer has some very weak dialogue, and Oppenheimer himself is, uh...problematic, as we say? Barbie has pretty paper thin Feminism 101. It never gets into how capitalism specifically impacts feminism and seeks to uphold gender roles and gendered expectations. It's definitely not Marxist, h aha. (But I also never expected it to tackle that. After all, it's still produced by Warner Bros and Mattel.)

I didn't expect Oppenheimer to be so dreamlike. And I definitely didn't expect Barbie to give me so many emotions about mothers and daughters and becoming your own person, going beyond the story made for you. That's what made me cry in Barbie during the final montage of childhood memories from all the staff/cast members on the project.

[3gremlins]

feel like im having a DA2 experience again where I really liked it and was in my little "this is good" cocoon where i played it many times only to emerge from underground and find everyone else hated it (i mean ive found the other da2 cicadas since but at the time it got really slammed). i've been really enjoying DA:TV so far ( lol tho obvs have notes) here's an early thoughts review, may be a bit spoilery, def rambley, trying to stay vague on stuff still (i think i'm about half way maybe? im trying to not look things up and doing it blind on my first run through. it's hard to tell b/c i went hard on all the side quests and am now way over level for the msq)

the combat system is a little jarring at first and i still miss at least being able to switch to and play as party members if your character dies (instead of the god of war style of full wipe), but i've gotten used to it (it's more annoying for boss fights, regular combat it's very zippy and fun). the targeting at least on controller is kind of annoying sometimes- i'll think i'm pointing at one enemy only to have rook turn and fire at nothing or companions to hit an add instead of a boss. I wish we at least had more control over how it queued who it was hitting. some of the arenas are obnoxious design wise - there's bosses that teleport to you and they give you like a tiny little box to dodge around, not the most fun. i do like that you can punch way above of your weight class sometimes which reminds me of DAO a little bit (like how you'd just wander into a fight or hit a gong and be like oh no, those enemies have skulls over their heads, oh well YOLO). sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's very satisfying. It's nice to be able to conquer something mechanically even underleveled (smol fromsoft vibes) Having always been a big fan of the strange composition parties (i.e not just war/rogue/mage), i like that this is now even more viable (and not just me being cheeky "we're having a leather party!" of all squishy rogues). but like the main thing about bioware games is the companions/interpersonal shit and i'm enjoying the heck out of that .i only do main quests to get more side quests from companions (or more side quests in general so we can troll around for more banter). i like petting griffons (and cats and dogs) and playing games with manfred*. I wish the gift system was more interesting like DAO or DA2- i was so excited to see it again and then it was a little disappointing to have them barely react when you get them stuff.

my current fave party are rook and the poison boys (emmerich and lucanis) since they're a rogue too and we just stack necrosis, bleeds and other elemental effects on things till they disintegrate. i like the lighthouse, it feels much cozier than skyhold. I love that you can just wander up to companions having convos and awkwardly eavesdrop. I do miss the little interactions/quests you could get with cole esp*** i think the animations are a little lack lustery? Idk there's something with the face model morphs that sometimes feels weird but the voice acting is strong enough that I don't notice too much. i do miss some of the more bioware-y cheeky things like item descriptions or weird notes near random silly environmental tableaus (there's a little but i just want to read all the notes! there's some in the grey warden areas where i was just like WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS but there was no plaque about them T.T). where are the stacks of cheese (i do appreciate the fereldens love cheese jokes tho and harding getting so excited when someone says something nice about ferelden) i was esp bummed that there were no random things to read in the black emporium and it's all codex entries instead (that's my favorite tiny bit in DA2 where there's junk you can click on and xenon says weird shit to you). i also wish more had been done with accents of npcs- like i wish all the antivans had similar accents or your crow rook had an antivan accent, stuff like that (having a lot of "ferelden" generic british accents everywhere is disappointing. takes you out of the immersion a lot) My biggest gripe is probably the pacing - I wish it had more horror/mystery pacing like dao and da2 had- the reason we're all scarred by the brood mother is b/c the build up to that was so so creepy (also the necromancer bit w/hawke's mum in DA2). They gave us time to be unnerved or afraid and I do feel the evanuris reveals have been a little rushed so you can't really feel that worried about them (some of the side quests get close to this but still not quite there**). I wish they'd let them breathe a bit more instead of rushing from one giant world changing event to the next. Some of the reveals have been not so great- like lore that the fandom has poured over for 15ish years explained in one line?? i wish there'd been more build up of rook as a character too, maybe even a time skip from a prologue to finding solas kind of thing. the first trailer made it seem like that's what was going to happen but then it in media res'd us in a strange way. the first 10 hours of the game are probably the weakest imho, it took it a bit to get rolling and feel more natural. I appreciate that the first major decision doesn't really let you scum save for it (bit of a jump scare for me lol).

I also don't really need this much varric anymore, i kinda wish we had a different narrator if we have to have one. He feels really awkward to just have there and not doing anything(and not just kill off or have something happen to him? he got stabbed by the dagger and harding only touched it is what i'm saying). at least let him get better pjs and slippers or something Idk it does feel like bits of previous iterations they were working on are still there and they don't completely serve the plot well. And ofc there's the decisions not meaningfully carrying over thing- which is a huge bummer. But in reality they've never been good at that- the characters from previous games we see in new games don't really carry through their plots/arcs that much (it's more like cameos or they're a new person now) and the world states are usually effectively the same just with aesthetic faction swaps. I was sort of hoping we'd get some solavellan SOMETHING but it doesn't look like we will get much at all past the stuff in minrathous. i feel like if they were going to only include the one choice it really should have had more impact on the story. (i am also still a clown and want to talk to solas constantly still even tho he has no reason to talk to my rook at all, i do not care, i love a sad woof. i wish we could just casually visit him in the fade. i wish we could switch to lavellan and visit him in the fade, idk something. need more gareth david-lloyd pls) the interpersonal character decisions have been the only ones that mattered much and then only within the constrains of their own games- the bigger world changing stuff is usually the illusion of choice. It would have been nice if they let us have one protagonist carry through but i can also see why they liked changing it up and felt stuck in that format. tl;dr: i'm really like it for what it is but it's def got flaws. Parts of it feel super polished while other bits do not- i think knowing how game dev works that they had to make decisions on what was going to get prioritized and some of it works while others not so much. I wish the pacing was better for sure but i love the characters/companions which is generally what bioware is best at. sad it won't get meaningful dlc, i don't really care about mass effect 5 tbqh. So far I like it better than inquisition for the most part- it feels like a bigger/more polished DA2 in a lot of ways if that makes any sense (with similar budget/pacing issues, but the environments are more fun). as i mentioned in my other post, i really appreciated the trans/non binary inclusion into the story/cc tho. like that can't be discounted, even if the rest of the game has issues. (all the holes in the narrative make me want to do fan art and fan fiction tho so idk, maybe that's an okay thing. maybe dragon age is best at inspiring us to sandbox around in it)

*side note, i am surprised at how much i like emmerich like holy shit what a lovely soft nerd of a man! going to have to play through a few times and romance him and also bellara for sure (romancing lucanis this time round) i find myself shipping my companions with each other more than i normally do too. I just want them to be happy! I wish they'd let us have polyamory, like i could see little polycules in this squad so easily. i need to give bellara hugs and lucanis head pats. taash deserves head pats too, but my rook will need a ladder.

**i am going to cry if they do with the griffons what i think they're doing with the griffons. like straight up, feeling like it was a cursed wish to have them now T.T *** do we think the caretaker is cole? the character design makes me wonder (like the hat/silhouette is very cole like but maybe not. maybe i just want it to be cole lol) there's def characters i want to see show up that aren't going to and then bioware is like "what about this fan favorite??" and i'm like "eh".

[valerieofavonlea]

I think we as a fandom are overthinking the terms of the duel too much

So I just went through and reread most of Taravangian's chapters for a different theory, and something really stuck out to me, especially in RoW.

We were given some frankly kind of vague terms at the end of RoW between Dalinar and Odium, and with a long wait in between books, what else are we supposed to do other than pick apart every tiny detail and theorize? I have some thoughts.

This might get a little rambley so buckle in.

Let's establish a few things, and then I have a point, I promise. I know everyone is focusing on the draw, on not making a plan for if no one wins, because of Wit's story. That makes sense and could be obvious foreshadowing. But Dalinar in the moment kind of threw out everything Wit had carefully prepared and put together very simple terms. I still don't know that there's a whole lot of room for a draw with the terms we have, nor does Todium imply a draw when he's reviewing the deal, but a victory:

"The way to win was to make sure that, no matter the outcome, you were satisfied. Odium should never have entered a deal he could not absolutely control. 'It can still be done,' Taravangian realized, seeing the possibilities -so subtle- that his predecessor had missed. 'Yes... Dalinar has set himself up... to fail. I can beat him.'"

I'd also like to point out how Odium operates, as stated on at least two separate occasions:

"Should we write... a contract?" "Our word is the contract. I am not some spren of Honor, who seeks to obey only the strictest letter of a promise. If you have an agreement from me, I will keep it in spirit, not merely in word."

and

"This isn't some deal with a Voidbringer from your myths, where one tricks the other with some silly twist of language."

Now it is unclear if this is a Rayse philosophy or something the shard itself is bound to, but it is interesting nonetheless.

Now, onto my main point. Taravangian is a scheming, conniving character who spent four books paying chess, outsmarting and manipulating, and very very carefully planning. His arc in RoW is quite interesting then, as he gets dumber and dumber, he begins to see less value in the intelligence. For all his smarts, all his planning, he has managed to save just one city out of an entire planet, landed himself an execution as a traitor, and burned countless potential allies.

"Smart Taravangian has proven insufficient. Smart Taravangian has failed. He hasn't just been made intelligent. He's been given a coin and a curse. Intelligence on one side. Compass on the other. When smart, he assured that compassion was the curse. But was it really? Or was the curse that he could never have both at once?"

By the end of RoW, Taravangian has become so much a being of pure emotion that he's constantly attracting spren, and he has become the perfect vessel for a shard of pure emotion.

The old Taravangian would have chosen the scheming, the wordplay, outwitting anyone and everyone he could have. The old Taravangian would have reveled in a tiny tiny loophole or trick of wording only he could see, but he got a whole lot of nowhere with all that scheming.

"Odium had bet so much upon Dalinar being his champion. Now that was in chaos. The god bragged about his plans, but Taravangian knew firsthand that you could plan and plan and plan, but if one man's choices didn't align to your will, it didn't matter. A thousand wrong plans were no more useful than a single wrong one."

So, what if he is leaning all the way into the passion thing now rather than the intelligence he was chasing for most of his life? Because the scheming and trying to overthink didn't work out that well for him, but the emotion, the feelings, that's what got him this power (and the capacity to save everyone). So the question becomes, are we as a fandom approaching the duel incorrectly, trying to think too hard about loopholes and the specific wording, when this new version of Todium would be more likely to use an emotional approach? Something to think about.

[orginllazyblog]

So I just got into Indigo Park, and now writing a fic :D

So many theories I want to talk about and my predictions of chapter 2.

The title for the new chapter I came up with is:

Into the Deep Blue Secrets 🐉🌊

(may be a differant title, but hey, who knows?)

Predictions of chapter 2 :

While exploring Oceanic Odyssey, the player noticed that there're puddles, glass cracks, and stuff that may of been old. The goal might be where Ed has to get out of Oceanic Odyssey because the place was about to fall apart, and the mass amount of water will drown the player.

There, an epic battle emerges from the shadows as the mascot version of Finley takes the advantage. As for Rambley, he was cut off because of the water getting into the screens. So once Ed was safe again, he'll have to find a kiosk.

To summarize, Rambley guides Ed to Oceanic Odyssey only to have been a trap and the goal is to escape. They also discover more secrets and clues as to what could of happened that got the park to close down.

Also, while I was watching people's theories, something came to my mind, and that is how will Indigo Park end?

And if Salem was the reason why the park shut down and the final villain, it's going to be a brutal death. Their name, Salem, refers to the Salem witch trials that took place in 16th century where people were accused of witchcraft and sentenced to death.

There may be different kinds of ending.

The bad ending where whoever this final villain may be (not Rambley) managed to win and get away with it.

The good ending, well more like it would a disney happy ending as it is inspired by Disneyland like Uniquegeese said in his streams.

And finally, the true ending. The park gets fixed... but at what cost?

Wel,l just have to wait for chapter 2.

Oh! Also, Uniquegeese did say on their twitter. That they'll add more references in the game. Like the sodas in the soda machines can give the player a boost, the critter cuff upgrade, and more.

I would like to see another arcade game, giving a clue as to what happened with the others. Since the next chapter is going to be about Finley, how he was once a shy character only to turned evil by Salem's potion.

___________________

Other Thoughts:

The creator, Uniquegeese, said that Lloyd will be an important character to the story and I can't wait to see how the lore would go. Me personally love Lloyd because he reminds me of Glamrock Freddy. But also, part of me wishing Lloyd having more plot armor as he may end up like Dogday from Poppy Playtime.

Salem not only being the villain of the group, they may of be the hero for the living mascot. Encouraging them to fight back.

Or was another AI like Rambley but more of a security AI who gain self aware and started spreading viruses to the mascots and the whole park to close down.

Rambley isn't going to turn into a twisted villain. Uniquegeese have already stated, "he has the mind of a child." Many assume to be true, but there is more evidence that people pointed out:

The creator himself

Rambley Review song, specifically these lines,

"And lots of feedback ensures I get to exist."

"Even I don't know what we might find."

The tone of his voice just doesn't seem evil. He just wants the park to run again like the old times.

Another theory I like to share and someone please tell of who came up with it as I don't remember which video is called. The theory is about how there are more than one mascot's of the group. The Mollie that was stalking the player was slightly different than the OG Mollie which lead to believing there are multiple living mascots roaming around the park.

I believe this one because not only that, the VA of Mollie Macaw has been hanging out frequently with Uniquegeese. So maybe will see other Mollie's and Lloyd's, but what about Finley's?

I would say it's just one Finley mascot because of the Leviathan thing. And it wouldn't make sense unless Oceanic Odyssey is very big.

With how much damage the park is, it would make sense how multiple living mascots did it. The other question is that do they need to eat?

With Mollie's head decapitated, revealing blood and guts. I wonder if the mascots needed to eat, although the foods at the cafe already expire and possibly the drinks too.

That's all I came up with. I might write another theory that will talk about Lloyd.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Series Thoughts—The Variant

With the release of episode 2, I’m back with another analysis. Spoilers ahead!! This will be a combination of personal thoughts, theories, and objective analysis. This is overall, a positive review, so if you do not want to see that, I would not recommend continuing to read. I am however more than open to some friendly debate and discussion over any and all of the following points, whether you agree or disagree with them.

With all that being said, let’s dive in:

I feel gypped on the Holding out for a Hero fight scene. I mean, I liked how the scene was shot, especially with the whole loudspeaker thing (it set the mood very well), but where’s Loki fighting to that song?

Alright, I might as well address the elephant in the room: Is Loki OOC? Well, for my money, the answer is both yes and no. And I don’t mean to be wishy-washy; it really kind of depends on how you define OOC and/or who exactly you take this Loki to be.

What does OOC mean? To me, the literal definition of “out of character” would be the character acting in a way unlike they’ve been seen acting before. Likewise, according to Collins Dictionary it would be defined as “not typical of the apparent character of a person or thing.” Now, that’s a bit too black and white. What if you have a character in a new situation, how do you know how they’d react? By analyzing their past actions and seeing if they line up. And if you stop at this point and deem Loki entirely OOC, well you’re allowed to and that’s valid. I, however, would not say entirely is the word to use. Somewhat, yes, but not terribly and not inexcusably so. I’ll come back to this in a moment.

Who is this Loki? He’s the one right after the Avengers, of course, but he’s something different too. Think about it, the whole series is centered around how different choices can shape the very fabric of the universe. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that changes in Loki’s story would cause him to behave differently than what we’ve seen before? This is, in essence, a different Loki, albeit one who’s own narrative is shaped by a shared backstory with ours. It even says it on his jacket in big, bright letters: VARIANT. So while he shouldn’t be too dissimilar from the Loki we know, I do not think we can entirely look to the old to determine the new.

Now that we have that out of the way, we’re back to my somewhat noncommittal answer of the original question. Loki has some moments that seem OOC, but almost always has a (valid) reason for acting that way, both in and out of universe.

Loki’s OOC moments:

◦ The Renaissance Fair: And I by no means think this applies to his whole spiel. In fact, I think it was largely in character. What got me was “Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening.” And then again, right after B-15 announces they are one unit away from red line. Though, my issue with the latter is how rushed it is. This could make sense because he’s worried about having time to finish his ploy. It’s a small thing to harp on for sure, though, for the point I am trying to make.

◦ In the hallway: This is where I think he’s most OOC. It feels rambley and pointless. More a desperate plea than a calculated last resort.

◦ With the librarian: I was hesitant to put this one in, but he seemed a bit unsure at points in his dialogue here. The inflection of his voice in the middle just sounded, like I said, unsure.

◦ The cafeteria (both times): More so in the first. The metaphor was, like Loki himself said, clumsy. But what I really think is OOC here is how excitable and obvious he is after Mobius concedes, “Not bad.” And the only thing on their second cafeteria chat is at the very end. His response of “I know” to being called clever, once again has an inflection to it that I would not typically associate with Loki—it’s too pronounced.

◦ Pompeii (beginning of scene only): Loki seems pretty flippant about the whole thing in the immediate moments after their arrival. (As an aside, I don’t think he’s necessarily unsympathetic here; he knows what happens and to keep himself safe and prove his point, he can’t branch the timeline.) To be quite honest, I think he might just be goading Mobius as he’s done to our God of Mischief many a time already.

◦ Before Roxxcart: He seems nervous, and his speech is a bit rushed again. Then again, this is something he wants—to be better. I’d think he’d be a bit more calm about it, though. Then again, with everything that’s happened recently, maybe it’s a natural response?

The reasons why he seems OOC:

◦ It’s on purpose: He knows what they think of him. If he plays into that, even in an exaggerated way, they’re not going to call bs on it.

◦ He’s been through a lot/Not our Loki: Like I mentioned earlier, not only is this a new environment, it’s a new Loki. He’s been shaped differently from our Loki because of how he was immediately thrust into the world of the TVA after many traumatic experiences.

◦ It’s an acting choice: No, it’s not one you have to agree with. But I believe Tom could be doing it to highlight moments where Loki is saying things he personally does not actually believe or that he knows others believe. Just to distinguish from the more calculated lying he does.

So, are there moments when Loki acts OOC? Yes. Is it inexplicable? No. Are the answers to those questions always the same from person to person? No, because like so many things, it’s all about how you frame it. And, of course, every person perceives each moment of time through their own eyes, with their own thoughts, in their own ways.

Loki has plenty of moments in character, too. In fact, I’d say he was overwhelmingly in character, for my understanding of it. In the earlier parts of the Renaissance Fair he is witty and lying with ease. At all other points that I didn’t mention, I found his vocabulary and inflection perfectly fine. I can’t think of any one moment his hand gestures particularly stuck out to me as out of place. And during his impromptu magic lesson, he seemed so sure of himself. He has snark without being rude. His interactions with “the variant” are on point. Even in the majority of the Pompeii scene, he’s not acting OOC, he’s just acting. He wanted to make an over-exaggerated splash to test his theory. Between that and speaking Latin, aren’t we seeing his cunning and wit?

Well, with that divisive and slightly negative topic out of the way, let’s move onto Mobius, his character, and his role in the show. He’s a bit different than the Mobius we see last time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still moments where he seems to be manipulating Loki, or at least attempting to (the walk to the elevator; dangling a meeting with the Time Keepers in front of Loki’s face). In episode two, he’s presented as a victim. Mobius is just as much a slave to the “sacred timeline” as those living in it. He can’t go into the world and do the things he wants to do. Even any questions about time that Loki has, he answers seemingly by rote (perhaps drilled into his brain through propaganda?) or he can’t explain well (note, two times he somewhat hesitantly deems what Loki says as “an oversimplification”).

We’re also told that Mobius has a soft spot for broken things. That seems like a bold thing to say if Mobius hasn’t done something big before. Has he possibly ever used a variant like this before? Could he even possibly have a deeper connection to the rouge variant? Probably not on that second one, but it’s not wholly impossible. Though, going back to “has he done this before?” (and get ready for me to get absolutely insane now) do the rings on the table have deeper symbolic meaning pertaining to this? Yes, it could have just been for comedy, it may have just been a cool shot, but why put so much focus and emphasis on it like that with the camera and dialogue if it has no significance. Basically what I mean is, it’s symbolic of Mobius messing up. He messed up Renslayer’s table, maybe he botched a mission. Or maybe he even screwed up when working with another variant. Regardless of whether that’s symbolism, we do see him have a soft spot for the people at the hurricane shelter.

Mobius’s role in episode 1 was trying to break down Loki and recruit him. In this episode, he was more of a guide, more of a friend. Yes, there are lines like at Roxxcart when he says he knows he can’t be trusted, but there’s also a lot of camaraderie between the two. By the time Loki and Mobius are having their second chat in the cafeteria, they seem familiar with each other, engaging in what seems to be a friendly bout of verbal sparring. They seem, at very least, fond of each other, and I believe Mobius is, to some extent, on Loki’s side.

In fact, Mobius and Loki share something in common; they want something more than what the time keepers have preordained for them, even if Loki is more ready to admit that. Mobius is still, however, playing the part he’s been assigned, his “glorious purpose.” And, yes that includes some digs like that at Loki, whether Loki’s in the room or not, and whether they’re subtle or not. Is “I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant.” really a dig though? I mean, it sounds like he could just be saying what Renslayer wants to hear. And when he talks about Loki wanting something more, wanting to change, I don’t think he’s actually talking about Loki. With the inflection and stage whisper, it almost sounds like he’s projecting. Remind you of anyone? Mobius will likely end up helping Loki, or may even turn into a tragic hero, his fatal flaw being his unwillingness to admit the TVA is not infallible.

The TVA workers. Isn’t odd how some of them have names and others don’t? Do they name themselves? More likely, I think whoever is in charge of a branch of the TVA gets a name, and all underlings get the less than human mix of letters and numbers with which to identify themselves. It also seems that the people with the most personality are the ones with names. B-15 has a personality, sure, but it’s more just in line with “I work for the TVA. This is what they want. I will do exactly that.” It’s almost lacking something that the named characters have lying beneath the surface of their character arc.

And then she gets enchanted, and if Wunmi Mosaku wasn’t already shining with the limited story for the character, oh boy she is now. When B-15 comes to, she is scared. It’s on her face and in that little shuddered breath. And when asked what happened, she seemed so unsure, timid. I’m definitely interested to see how that progresses!

Back to the workers in general, they didn’t seem as sad about their coworkers this episode as in the last. Even with C-20 it seemed to be a respect thing. I mean, they reset the timeline with their colleagues lying dead on the floor. I think in a lot of scenarios, dead soldiers would be given a proper burial.

Ravonna Renslayer and the time keepers. Renslayer is even more steadfastly devoted to the sacred timeline and the time keepers than anyone else. Why? Well, I think it’s because she is the time keepers. Any time they’re brought up, it’s quickly explained away with a simple “they’re busy.” That’s because they’re not real. But Renslayer sure seems chummy with them, huh? What other reason then its her timeline she has everyone protecting.

Then again, she may only be second in command, but not to the time keepers. (I mean, omniscient and omnipotent beings who are relatively aloof and unreachable? They’re perfectly set up to be revealed as not real. Plus the constant non-answers when it comes to them, I’ll be more surprised if they’re real than if they’re not.) But in the comics, her plot line is interwoven with that of Kang the Conqueror, a time traveler, among many other things. Even more likely than her being in charge, is him being in charge.

And now for the variant. It’s not Lady Loki, we all know that right? Ok, that comes off a bit harsh, but she is listed as Sylvie in the credits for languages other than English. This was also who Sophia Di Martino was previously listed as on IMDb. I won’t get into her story in the comics now, but I’d bet we’ll take elements of that in her story in the series. And if you’re still not convinced that’s who this is, why have her blonde? It just doesn’t make sense to change that about her. Plus, Sylvie takes on the name of Enchantress. What does Loki say her powers are? Enchantments. She doesn’t want to be called Loki either. She does say the main Loki variant is her, but if she’s framing him or taking on his persona for her crimes, why stop now? Her language is distinctly un-Loki like, too. She also boldly declares “This isn’t about you.” And finally, there’s the foreshadowing in Loki’s line, “I would never treat me like this.”

I only wonder what her motives are. Is she looking for revenge on the Loki from her timeline? Or perhaps she’s working fo him? Maybe he’s dead and she’s avenging him? Or he’s alive and she wants to grab his attention? Maybe she has motives all her own. And what of Mephisto? Does he actually play a part in this? I’m just spitballing, I need more information.

When Loki finds the file. No. Like. Give a detailed description of this please!!!!! He thinks he’s evil. That he causes all that death with malicious intent. Even if he doesn’t, there’s clear pain over the destruction of Asgard. And look at his eyes, the only thing we’re shown as he process the information fully for the first time. He’s hurt, confused. Disappointed and angry with himself. The bit we’re shown of his face before it zooms in on his eyes portrays this too. He looks so lost in that shot. And he looks to be tearing up a bit.

Maybe I’m just being dumb, but what does it mean 9,719 casualties? Didn’t they all escape? His face as the scene zooms back out is... defeated. Scared. Scarred. He’s barely holding it together. Then something else catches his eye, giving him an idea. And I’m sure more than anything he wants to be distracted from the storm in his mind. So yeah, he’ll happily throw himself into his work. The epiphany on his face as he’s still recovering and discovering new things is just so perfect too.

The confrontation at Roxxcart. This was really well done, I felt. Loki felt in character, and he was fighting smartly, using what he could. Because clearly the enchantment also lent Sylvie’s powers to the person. But Loki manages to hang in there and dig for information while keeping the battle going.

He gets mad, too. He starts yelling. And that makes sense. He wants answers, and for so long he’s been denied them; it’s a recurring theme in his life. He’s losing control of himself a bit here. And that’s a large part of the reason why he goes through the time door. Loki doesn’t want to lose control again. I don’t even know if it was exactly a betrayal of the TVA. I don’t think he’s on their side, but I think he just saw that he couldn’t lose the variant again. Because for what he says his plan is, he wouldn’t have followed the variant. However, he does because he wants answers.

What about that plan though? I’m working a bit in reverse with this scene I realize, but bear with me. That look on his face as he stands, it’s calculating. I think he’s lying about his plan. I think he’s trying to bring the variant in, not work with them.

Also, I’m so concerned for C-20. What’s real? I want to know!! But we’re already getting a feel for Sylvie’s powers. The people she enchants live, but they’ve seen something they’d rather not. What other reason is there for the similar way B-15 and C-20 act? And I know she mentions telling Sylvie the time keeper’s location, but really, it’s their location to her knowledge. It doesn’t necessarily mean they exist. Or maybe it’s just Kang.

And Mobius at the very end of this scene, the very end of the confrontation, the very end of the episode. The last thing is him calling after Loki. And he sounds genuine, almost. It didn’t sound like he was fearful for his own life, but rather more worried for Loki. Though, maybe I have that confused and it’s worried about Loki. Whatever the reason, it sounded like genuine fear in his voice to me.

Finally, some random thoughts that didn’t fit anywhere:

Gugu Mbatha-Raw is so talented. I mean, I got a lot of emotion from Renslayer. Confident and proper at the beginning, panicked and afraid at the end. Even in her talks with Mobius, there’s many subtleties to pick apart. I think it’s heavily implied through her words and actions that she’s evil.

The casual magic use was great. Hope there’s more.

Why do setting off reset charges in the main timeline have a different effect than setting them off in the branch timelines? Like shouldn’t it wipe it, not make branches?

Loved all the rapport happening in the episode. There was a lot of good dialogue.

Despite the manipulations going on, I like the relationship forming between Mobius and Loki. I think they make a nice little duo.

I love all the Loki variants we’re shown. Very, very interesting. Just give us Jötunn Loki for real, please.

Loki was very clever this episode, particularly with figuring out you could hide in an apocalypse and at Roxxcart.

Does Roxxcart have a link to Roxxon?

Their little motto thing is a bit creepy. “For all time. Always.” Sounds like it’s just part of their propaganda.

“You see, I know something children don’t. No one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.” I love this line. Seriosuly, why not use this sound bite in the trailers? Loki himself is morally gray, and I love that we’re addressing this fact of life; the world is not all black and white, not all good and bad.

CASEY!!!

In the second cafeteria scene, there is a guard in full armor just standing there. I guess they’re monitoring the employees. How likely does whoever is in charge think it would be for an uprising of sorts to happen?

Between sleepy Loki, him putting that jacket on, his hair, that talking to himself and that annoyed little shh in the library, and just being the happy goof that he is deep down (Miss Minutes scene and salad metaphor) Loki was just so adorable this episode.

I think it’s important Mobius said sorry when talking about ragnarok. He knows Loki cares.

Mobius does kind of understand Loki when saying he has an “insecure need for validation.” He’s right, honestly, albeit harsh. But that’s all he wanted throughout the Thor movies too, not to be looked down upon. To be treated as equal. As worthy.

Of Mobius’s two options for why he’s sticking his neck out for Loki, I think they both hold some truth.

Interesting how TVA agents like to keep souvenirs from lives they can never live. Though maybe Renslayer keeps them for a different reason. Like from timelines that were particularly a threat to order—her order.

The score is still on point. Loving the theremin.

Wow an explanation pertaining to time travel I’ve found no holes in. It’s unstable and they have to enter in real time (furthest point on the branch) because of that. Ok, yeah. Checks out.

I’m so glad they kept the title card from last week. I like it so much better than the one from the trailers, and it fits the vibe of the show better.

Is it bad I want all these new branches to red line? I think it seems a little too early into the show for that to happen, but maybe a few of them will? Perhaps improbable but not impossible. But think of the chaos! What better playground for the God of Mischief than a universe thrown into disarray.

And now, my final thoughts. A very good episode with a mainly in character Loki. I like how we’re slowly learning more with what’s going on, while still keeping an element of mystery. Though, Marvel’s twists aren’t landing as well as I think they were hoping (assuming I’m right of course. I’ve seen plenty of other people who were thinking along the same lines though, so). It’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi that Glorious Purpose had, but I still enjoyed it. Overall, 8/10. Let’s just hope my rating doesn’t go down point with every episode.

Like something I said? Totally disagree? Really want to talk more about one point? Whatever it is, I’d love to hear! Reblogs and comments are appreciated. My ask box is always open, and anon is always on. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks :)

Me, after not liking one, but two episodes:

[im-just-a-random-fandom-girl]

trying to articulate my frustrations with Marvel’s treatment of female characters and characters of color

Hi, hello, hola, bonjour. I've been having a lot of thoughts about Marvel’s lack of diversity and of how they treat minority characters, so I'm taking a page out of Luisa’s (@its-tortle) book and just making a long, rambley post to get it all out.

Please bear with me while I try to encapsulate all of my frustration within the limitations of English language.

(ALSO, I'm white. I’m Spanish-American, but I do not have the ability to speak for fans of color and the other grievances they have. This post is just a combination of my own thoughts and what I've heard other people say on Tumblr, in YouTube videos, in articles etc.)

Now that we've had over week to collect ourselves after the WandaVision finale, because it was such a tearjerker and the end of a true masterpiece of a show, we really need to talk about how Marvel treats their their characters of color and female characters. I'll specifically be looking at Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Monica Rambeau.

Let's start with Sam.

Until Monica Rambeau became Photon just a few weeks ago in WandaVision, Sam was THE ONLY Black superhero in the MCU.

He first appeared in Captain America: The Winter Soldier 7 years ago in 2014, and he's been in 4 movies since then (not counting the post-credits of Ant-Man).

Let's see what we know about Sam in the MCU:

He was a pararescue airman in the U.S. Airforce

His wing-man, Riley, died in combat, prompting him to leave active duty

He works at the VA to help other veterans adjust to civilian life

That's it. This is all we know about his backstory, separate from Captain America. However, the MCU decided to include these parts of his backstory, (and exclude others) because they make him a better supporting character to Steve.

Sam's a vet - so is Steve. They have the same, early-morning run routine that alludes to strict military training. Steve is still new to the future and hardly knows or approaches anyone, but Sam is wearing his VA sweatshirt, so there's some sense of connection, one that is furthered when they talk about their beds being too soft. Sam is someone who can understand him, aside from being a super soldier.

Riley, Sam's wingman, died in combat - Hmm, haven't heard that one befo - oh, wait. *Bucky waves from the abyss of the Alps*. Yeah.

I'm not saying that these connections are bad, in fact, I think the opposite. In terms of storyline, these connections are incredibly important for their friendship. Steve is lost and alone in the future. No one he knows cares about him for any reason other than the fact that he's a super soldier, nor can he relate to any of those people on any level. Sam just fits. He's funny and kind and although they are 60 years apart in age, he can, to some extent, understand what Steve is going through in a way they no one else can.

But for the last 7 years in the MCU, all he's been is Steve's supportive friend.

Almost immediately after meeting Steve, Sam is dragged into an end-of-the-world battle. He readily agrees to put his life on the line to fight by Captain America's side. After SHIELD falls, Sam gives up his life for 2 years to help Steve find Bucky. When they find him, Sam, without a second thought, becomes an international fugitive to protect Bucky and Steve.

I mean, he practically says that he lives in Steve's shadow himself: 

"Don't look at me. I do what he does, just slower."

Who does all this? Seriously? Sam is also a recovering vet. He, in theory, has a life, a family, a job, his own mental well-being to consider, but he immediately gives it all up to help Captain America, to follow in his shadow, to be his back-up and support in every battle. Marvel wrote him as a 2D character that lacks his own identity and agency.

Sam deserves his own storyline; he deserves to exist outside the orbit of Steve Rogers.

What Mackie has been able to do with the character is astounding. He took Sam off the page and truly brought him to life, turning him into a beloved character. I'm ecstatic that both Mackie and Sam finally (hopefully) get their time to shine in TFATWS, but it should have happened WAY sooner. Marvel has continuously overlooked Mackie, despite how much he brings to the movies and despite the significance of Sam as the only Black superhero. It's just so clear that they do not care about representation.

(And let's not start with the whole "Bucky should be Captain America" thing, thanks)

Next, let's talk about Natasha.

Nat has been in the MCU for 11 years, starting with Iron Man 2 in 2010. She was heavily featured in an additional 6 MCU movies (not including small cameos/post-credit sequences). She's one of the few female superheroes in the MCU, and the only one that's been there since the beginning. Nat was the only female superhero for 4 years until Gamora appeared in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Let's see what we know about Natasha's history:

She's a former KGB operative and assassin, trained in the Red Room project

When she was a part of the Red Room, she was sterilized

Clint Barton got her out of the Red Room and converted her to a SHIELD agent

THAT'S IT. The second point is actually nauseating because this is what she says to Banner when we learn about her infertility in Age of Ultron:

"They sterilize you. It’s efficient. One less thing to worry about, the one thing that might matter more than a mission. It makes everything easier — even killing. You still think you’re the only monster on the team?"

Like, actually, what the fuck? I remember watching this scene and having to rewind because I thought I mis-heard what she said. In truth, Natasha is probably referring to the terrible things she was forced to do as a KGB operative are what make her a "monster," but why in the world would they include this anecdote here?? It's just so distasteful and disgusting! It makes it seem like her infertility is what makes her a monster, perpetuating the misogynistic belief that the center of a woman's identity and purpose is to have children.

As Vox says in this article, the subject of Nat's infertility 

"rears its head sub-textually when Black Widow sacrifices herself for the Soul Stone. [...] It’s reasonable for Natasha to make the calculation that Clint’s kids deserve to have a dad when they come back to life after the Avengers complete their “time heist.” But because of that Ultron plot, there’s also an insidious implication that Natasha’s infertility renders Black Widow just a little bit more disposable than the rest of her teammates."

Furthermore, Nat's death in Endgame serves for nothing more than motivation for the other characters working in the time heist, WHICH ARE ALL MALE. Even then, the other characters talk about her death briefly (in a mostly unaffected manner), and by the end of the movie, she's been pretty much forgotten about,  completely overshadowed by Tony Stark.

I don't want to say that Nat shouldn't have died in Endgame. It caused me so much heartache and emotional pain, but I truly believe it was a great way to end her arc. CinemaWins on YouTube put it best:

"She needed to save her family, Clint included, finally wiping the red from her ledger. So much of her jouney in the MCU was trying to find her purpose, figure out which side she was on, and she finally feels like she's found it, just in time to die for it. 

"It's not wrong to feel cheated by her death, [but I think] she deserved this moment because of it's importance."

She says it in the movie: 

"I used to have nothing, and then I got this. This family. And I was better because of it."

Nat shouldn't have to die, but it's on her terms, and she is absolutely ready for it. Saving her chosen family... that is her purpose.

But altogether, over the course of the MCU, Natasha was cheated out of getting the storyline she deserved. Like Sam, she was relegated to the position of the supportive friend of Steve, but also of Bruce and Clint. For the audience, her identity is tied to this role that she plays. The identity and motivations she has independent from these other characters, her history, is skimmed over, and treated with immense disrespect.

It took 11 years, but it is thrilling that Scarlett Johansson finally gets to be the start of her own Marvel movie. There is no way that Black Widow will be able to completely make up for her and Natasha's mistreatment by the MCU, but I hope it will at least bring us some closure and allow us to have a better understanding of Nat's history and who she is away from the other Avengers.

Last, but certainly not least (despite what WandaVision may have you believe) is Monica Rambeau.

I spoke about this last week after posting about this review of the show, but it bears repeating.

Monica is a new character. You'd hope that, after 11 years of extremely limited diversity in the MCU, much to the dismay of fans worldwide, and after recognizing this and creating a movie with a cast like The Eternals, Marvel would try to get their shit together across the board.

Nope!

Monica was seriously the token diversity character of the show. It seemed like they would give her more depth after the episode during which they flashed back to the her during and after the snap, losing her mother, and seeing a little bit of what she's done as an adult since Captain Marvel, but that ended up being the most we got.

But why? Monica literally became a SUPERHERO. She became Photon! She deserved a much greater role in the show, especially in the finale, where she instead had maybe 5 lines and just stopped some bullets for about 30 seconds.

As the review I linked says, 

“There are so many black writers, fans, and critics noting how Monica got relegated to a complete lack relegated to meaningless best friend protector lacking in their own self agency and story except for making a shoehorned comparison of grief.”

Marvel made the same, bull-headed mistake that they made with Sam with Monica!

Let's do this again. Monica was snapped away for 5 years, and when she was snapped back, she learned that her mother had died. Losing someone you love and having the whole process of mourning and pain be complicated by the snap? What an interesti- oh wait. *Vision phases his head through the wall with a smile*

The only reason we got this backstory was because it made her a more sympathetic character towards Wanda. Her understanding of what Wanda is going through allows her to be the catalyst in the creation of the ideological fork in the road between herself, Darcy and Woo, who see Wanda as a victim of grief and loss, and Hayward and the rest of SHIELD, who see her as a dangerous threat.

How do you make the same, major mistake that you've been making for the past 7 years again? Guess what? You don't! Maybe it's not intentional, but Marvel, again, clearly doesn’t care enough about their characters of color to consider the roles they relegate them to in the MCU, realize what they've been doing is harmful, and then change it.

Hopefully, they will not continue to treat Monica this way and will remedy this in the next Captain Marvel.

In conclusion: MARVEL GAVE A FUCKING ROBOT AN ACTUAL ORIGIN STORY, A RELATIONSHIP AND MORE INDEPENDENCE THAN ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS.

But in all seriousness, Marvel needs to be help accountable for how they treat women and their characters of color in the MCU. I just looked at 3, but you could also make a similar argument about Rhodey, Hope van Dyne and Valkyrie, as well as Jane Foster, MJ, and Ned, although they are supporting characters and not superheroes. And I'm sure there are many others. Marvel (and Disney!!) has had an awful track-record, and change is long overdue.

[joekabox]

I just watched Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna

I’m writing this while my thoughts are fresh, so I just want to say these may not be my final thoughts on the film. Sometimes a film takes a little while to fully hit me, and this is just my thoughts immediately after watching said film.

Spoilers below, and a lot of text. I had a lot to say, sorry. I also apologize if its a little rambley, that’s kind of just how my brain works. Anyway...

Going into the film, I heard mixed reviews from various sources. From some, I heard the film was bad, from others, that it was good, but from most, that it was just okay. Nothing horrible, nothing great, but an okay film. 

I’m not sure where I sit, presently, but perhaps I’ll come to an idea by the end of this review.

The film is very well put together. Unlike Tri, and arguably the last bit of Adventure and a good portion of Adventure 02, Last Evolution felt like a cohesive plot, beginning to end. It knew what it wanted to be, and it did it. There wasn’t a point where I felt confused about what was happening, and unlike Tri, it didn’t throw in random elements that went unexplained from 02 and proceed to leave them unexplained. I think the closest we get is a shot of Sora, alone, with her Digivice turned to stone with little explanation as to what happened, but honestly, I think we can all agree we know what was happening, just putting together the scenes the film showed us earlier of her and Piyomon together. She was hit first, and while the film didn’t hold our hand on her journey, her journey acted as a vehicle to drive us towards the ending of this film, and I appreciate it.

Every emotional scene hits, every action scene is well executed. The animation is fresh and new, but evokes the original style in a way that isn’t exact but certainly close enough. I think that was maybe a good choice, given the theme of the film itself. 

In tone, it isn’t just a sad waterworks of a story the entire way through like Tri tried to be, but instead one loaded with emotional weight but enough pep and action to keep it feeling upbeat most of the time.

Overall, I liked watching this movie. I felt compelled to keep watching, and the opening scene of the film is just a love letter to Adventure as a whole. I honestly forgot it was only an hour and a half long as I got engaged with the story, as it never feels slow but every scene has weight and depth to it.

This film seems to care far more about the characters and drive of the story than Tri did, and by that I mean it didn’t try fixing all the flaws of the original, but simply let them rest. I think that might have been intentional, as this movie really felt like a ‘good bye’ to the series. The entire plot was about putting Adventure to rest, after all.

Now for the bad stuff.

This film really missed the chance to introduce Biomerging to the Adventure mythos via Taichi and Yamato, and while it gave that honor to the antagonist of the film, it didn’t seem to bother with the protagonists, probably because people seem to cringe when some fans even mention the concept of humans turning into Digimon.

Tamers gave us the concept of Biomerging to drive home the idea that a tamer and their Digimon partner had a bond beyond just friendship, and while perhaps ham-fisted, was a great visual metaphor. Last Evolution seemed to have a subtle buildup to this same core idea, but when push came to shove, we have Agumon and Gabumon becoming very humanoid versions of their Greymon and Garurumon forms respectively, meanwhile Taichi and Yamato just sit on their shoulders and pantomime their actions. I’m deeply curious if the initial idea was to biomerge them, but they bailed last second, but I digress.

This film also seems to continue the trend of just not caring about 02, but less so. While I will 100% give this film credit for not only including the 02 cast but also giving them a plot within the film, they didn’t really feel connected to the rest of the characters, not even towards Hikari or Takeru, who they spent the entire length of a show with. They just sort of feel like sidekicks to the Adventure cast, and not their own characters. We never even get Imperialdramon, despite Imperialdramon being shown to be at least on par with Omegamon in abilities, if not slightly surpassing them.

And, my biggest complaint, and one that probably isn’t a surprise: the time limit on having a Digimon partner makes little sense when looking at the rest of the mythos. In 02, we are shown the character of Oikawa, who’s entire narrative is a lifelong goal to go to the Digital World like him and his late best friend always dreamed of, and relies on children to aide him because he’s a grown man (if I recall correctly). From that alone, it seems like the ‘adults can’t have Digimon partners’ angle makes sense...except it doesn’t, because in the last bit of the show, Oikawa finally does make it to the Digital World, and what awaits him on the other side? His chosen Digimon partner, who waited this entire time to meet them, having dreamed of the day Oikawa would one day visit the Digital World.

While I suppose the ‘grown ups don’t have Digimon’ bit isn’t necessarily unsupported, it feels like an unnecessary plot device. The only saving grace I think it has, beyond making for an engaging and emotionally impactful film, is that several points of the film suggest this may not be the final say. Gennai makes an off handed comment about the possibility of delaying it, and there’s a constant message of “well see each other again.” While that may be just a hopeful thing to say in the face of sadness, much as one often says such things to a dying loved one, a producer of Last Evolution has stated that the film does, in fact, line up with the established Adventure canon, including the ending of 02, which specifically states that not only do Taichi and Yamato have their Digimon partners, but that everyone gets a Digimon partner. 

If this film really is intended to be canon with the finale of 02, and that Agumon and Gabumon will one day return, then I feel this film simply cared more about its narrative of growing up and moving on than anything, and honestly...I don’t think that’s horrible, in retrospect. This film, as mentioned, had a very cohesive plot, and a very strong story it was trying to tell, and it did it well. At no point did I feel anything was done to punish the audience or throw a kink in the hose, if you will.

The worst aspects of Tri (which I keep comparing this film to, sorry), were its insistence to cut away from 02, correct things done wrong in the lore of Adventures past, and tell an ultimately disheartening and sad message of “sometimes bad things happen and it sucks and there’s no good side about it, but we must move on.” Last Evolution has a similar message of “sometimes bad things happen and it sucks,” but it goes on to say “but that doesn’t really matter, given all the good times we had, does it?” It doesn’t make you feel bad for having invested time into people and things you care about.

While Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna was not perfect, and not the sendoff I wanted, it was okay. It was a love letter to the series, and it had a great deal of depth to it I’ve not seen in an Adventure story since my childhood, and at no point did it make me wish it hadn’t happened...and honestly I think that’s exactly perfect. That is exactly the message it was trying to convey.

At the end of the day, perhaps Agumon and Gabumon are gone, for now, but just because they left, it doesn’t mean they took their memory with them.

To quote the translated lyrics of Butterfly, by the late Koji Wada, which began each episode of the original Adventure:

“After an endless dream, in this miserable world That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay I'm sure we can fly, on my love”

[undine-taz]

Retrospect Reviews 7

Steven Universe- Cat Fingers

I’m going to do my best with this episode, but honestly the body horror in this one freaks me out. I was really tempted to give this one a miss, but it’s pretty big character-development wise and it has a lot of foreshadowing that I am loathe to skip. So many points that will become important to character development are hinted at here. Take my opinion on this one with the tiniest grain of salt, because it is higher than any other cartoon I can currently think of on my heebie-jeebie scale. Also, as per usual, I will be discussing events in the rest of the series, so be aware that spoilers abound. With that said, let’s get into the plot.

                                               Plot Bare Bones:

Status Quo:

For the first time, we begin an episode with Steven and his father hanging out! What a delightful change of pace. This is the first time we see Steven enjoying a happy, healthy parental relationship without any sort of pressure to prove himself, and with an active parent who has time and inclination to spend time with him.

Incentive:

Amethyst interrupts their father-son bonding time in the guise of a cat, which sparks an interest in Steven to explore this aspect of his gem powers. With Amethyst’s guidance, he begins to attempt shapeshifting.

Plot Points:

Steven attempts to give his cat finger more friends

Steven changes all of his fingers to cats in response to various reactions from people around Beach City

Panicked, Steven tries to change back, unfortunately making everything far worse

Climax:

Just before he can be completely consumed by cats, Greg sends Steven through the car wash. The combination of rushing water and scrub brushes is enough to dissolve the cats(mostly) and return Steven to his own shape.

Resolution:

Upon their return, the gems are delighted and proud to realize Steven has resolved the problem more or less on his own. Greg is relieved to have his son back, and Steven fires off a series of terrible cat puns into the sunset.

My Thoughts:

Forgetting the body horror, this is a very good episode. The plot moves at a decent pace, and the episode has consequences for the rest of the show. In Steven’s case, this is the first-and last- time we see him attempt to shapeshift into something other than his own form. It’s a traumatic moment for Steven, and it also begins to hint to the audience that Steven is inherently different than the other gems. There are consequences to his having a human body, ones that no one- not Steven, not his father, not the gems- understand. Exploration of his own powers has risks as well as benefits.

Of course we find out later in the series that Steven is an organic body blended and held together by a gem, and that he is his own person. Unlike the gems, whose bodies are only projections of light, he has an organic component. It’s unsurprising to me in hindsight that trying to change into a different creature would change his body- in order to shapeshift, Steven has to completely rearrange his biological structure as well as his gem-body. This is mere speculation, but I believe if Steven were to attempt to fully shapeshift into a different creature, he would sacrifice his consciousness and create something new much the same way Rose/Pink did in the process of his creation.

While perhaps this episode showed the most growth for Steven, it moved the other players in the Steven Universe world as well. The Crystal Gems saw Steven solve an issue on his own, and Greg was forced to see that if he wants a relationship with his son he can’t ignore anything gem-related, no matter how uncomfortable it makes him or how the Crystal Gems discourage him. He stepped up to the plate, and we also see that Garnet has the most faith in Steven of any of the gems. (Possibly because of her future-vision, but I have theories that her future-vision is less magical and more intellectual. I’ll discuss that later in these reviews.) Aside from the character growth, this episode serves as truly fantastic foreshadowing for important events later in the series.

For one, it clearly foreshadows Greg’s discomfort with shapeshifting- especially his discomfort with Amethyst shapeshifting into Steven. This discomfort leads into a wonderful episode later in the series showing the strained relationship between Amethyst and Greg, and also Amethyst’s tendency to go too far in her teasing (something we’ve already seen with Steven, in my opinion.) It’s good foreshadowing but a bit of a one-off; it’s not central to his character. The foreshadowing for Pearl, though, it’s absolutely beautiful. It casually highlights an aspect of Pearl’s character central to the entire plot of the show- the fact that Pearl shapeshifted into Rose Quartz in order to fake the shattering of Pink Diamond. Without drawing too much attention or being heavy-handed, the show revealed that shapeshifting into another gem is totally possible, and made the viewers aware that Pearl is absolutely capable of shapeshifting. And then we never see it happen until that crucial moment. No one realizes how traumatic shapeshifting is for Pearl, and yet the rules are established early on and we know that Pearl is absolutely capable of shapeshifting but refuses to whenever the opportunity arises. The foreshadowing impresses me, but so does the planning that had to have been involved. The crew made this rule early on, that Pearl can never shapeshift, so that the moment we finally realize she has shapeshifted will have that much more impact. It’s a beautifully complex moment in a more action-oriented episode.

Sidenotes:

I apologize if this is more rambley than usual, I was determined to get this written today but my meds just kicked in and I’m maybe two minutes away from falling asleep in my chair. Hope everyone is having a great night! Expect a brief interlude from Steven Universe reviews- I have the gist of my next reviews planned out, but I need a palate cleanser. I may continue with Bee and Puppycat, so look forward to that.

[inukagome15]

resplendeo replied to your post: The draft of the second chapter of the...

haaaaaaa omg yes hello.

okay. so I really, really love the interaction with gai??? I love how gai’s clearly expecting a standoffish kakashi and how kakashi is like, easing into being a more - friendly isn’t the right word but idk - dude. also I super love that the black cat was a total lie???? kakashi petting cats, heck yeah - what was the pack’s reaction?? also, what’s the pack’s reaction to them going back in time, and do they know abt that? is kakashi holding off on summoning pakkun etc bc

cont - chakra problems?? I can’t wait to find out!! (i can def wait u do what u want - ur not obligated to answer any of these questions im just a rambly reviewer) also what abt kakashi’s other friends in the past??? gosh im so excited and this is only chapter two??? these two chapters have been so rich and… i guess grounded in a really elaborate world, that I think I thought you’d done like, four, five chapters so far, easy.

…okay, wow, I am super rambly today, apparently??? next response will have to be a reblog bc goddamn.

but uh, yeah!!! really like this!!

I LOVE RAMBLEY COMMENTS YOU MADE MY DAY

Yeah, I really enjoyed writing that entire scene with Gai because I enjoy their relationship a LOT. And Kakashi is definitely trying to become more personable, haha. Slowly. Because otherwise suspicion will be raised. But he’s got excuses cooked up in case anyone asks him what’s up.

Well, not all the black cat excuses were lies... Naruto just happened to see him do it one time when he was spying on his sensei. To this day, Kakashi is still rather perplexed whenever Naruto gives him cat toys as presents because he has a pack of dogs, not cats.

Kakashi hasn’t pulled off any major jutsu since coming back, largely because of the chakra problem. So, yeah, he hasn’t done any summoning or anything else that might backfire on him. (The earth jutsu clearly wasn’t as harmless as he thought it would be.)

Ahh, thank you! :D I’ve been pulling from a lot of Naruto canon and then also stringing together bits and pieces to make my own because some stuff just isn’t said in canon. But, yeah, I have pieces about the future that are going to be coming into the story in small flashbacks and also dreams. Because you don’t go through a major war without some trauma, and Kakashi has lived through two.

THANKS SO MUCH. <33

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Wednesday 1st February 2017

I am feeling quite overwhelmed (yet again) but today has been...helpful (?), positive in some ways (?) and, idk, it feels like the start of a new chapter.

Long rambley appointment post

As I previously mentioned, I had supported snack and meal planning with E booked in for today. At my CPA on Monday we agreed that she would help me add back in morning snack today, which has been missing for a couple of months now, without compensating beforehand. Needless to say that when I was standing and waiting for her to arrive, I felt sick to my stomach. It was at least two hours after breakfast yet I felt like I was still full to burst. All I could think about were numbers.numbers.numbers. and my anxiety was going through the roof. Fortunately I was messaging Yas (who is an absolute saint) and she helped me rationalise a few of my thoughts and the options. When E arrived we had our usual ‘pre-appointment chat’ (she sensed my heightened anxiety straight away) and discussed our options. In the end I let her pick where we would go (surrendering control - TICK) and she chose CAFE NERO! I don’t think I have been to Cafe Nero for, gosh, well over a year! As we walked we talked through a few things that came up in my CPA and about how I was feeling/why it was important to accept the anxiety and sit through it with her support. 

Our session lasted just over two hours, which was quite overwhelming in itself but it was SO helpful. She helped me to order and then we sat to face said drink and also go through self-help and meal planning. She really ‘gets’ me and it is so helpful to have that, especially right now. I don’t feel like I need to explain anything to her, she just gets it. We started by talking through a few self-help sheets she thought she would bring for me:

The first was about positive self-talk and making flash cards for DURING meals/times of high anxiety 

The second an “Emergency Bag/Box” for before/after meals/snacks that should have in different ‘distractions’/coping mechanisms that you can chose from. I liked this idea of physically having a “box” as I have brought many things in the past to help with distractions, yet when in the moment I completely forget that I have them. If the actual item doesn’t fit in the box or isn’t really suitable to be put away you can chose to write it on a piece of paper and stick it in there. I’m going to give this a try and a good think over the coming days as I think this is going to be essential for me. 

Lastly; thought diaries but in a slightly different form. The sheet approaches it as a court case and makes you think about the sides of the defence (evidence for the ED thoughts) and then the prosecution (evidence against the ED thoughts), leading you to finally write a sum up of both sides and a rephrasing of the original disordered belief/thought. I liked this and will try to use it (if I remember).

Oh and we did talk about journalling as I have been doing a lot of that recently.

Okay so then it was on to the meal planning. She put things straight from the get off. Big changes need to happen NOW; no more putting off. Since last week I have managed to increase my calories by a bit but now the heat is being turned up. We talked a bit through BMR and things but I found it quite triggering so we stopped but the science behind it was helpful and important for me to think about. She kept reminding me that it is now at home or in hospital and that I am on a fine line to having my decisions taken away from me. She kept saying how “seriously low” my weight is, which I really didn’t like her saying, but she said that I need to keep hearing it because it is the reality of the situation. Okay I am rambling as usual. 

I now have a new meal plan - guided by E and much more prescriptive than we have ever approached it before. She brought along the portion guides and sheets so that my plan would be written from them. It feels like a lot. She tried to reassure me that this increase won’t cause me to gain loads of weight, she said that it might at first but that if I did it would just be water weight and that it might not even before enough and I might still keep loosing :/ It is hard to not overanalyse these situations and the “what ifs” that seem to be flying around my head but I am putting my trust in her and the rest of my team and I WILL follow this prescription because FOOD IS MY MEDICINE. 

We have agreed on a 300 calorie increase by the weekend (i.e. it is staged over today, tomorrow and Friday) and then we will be reassessing it on Monday. I have a session with my ED nurse on Monday morning and am then seeing E afterwards as she can’t do next Wednesday so it’s going to be quite a long day! Right now this is an interim and I have been told I won’t be sticking around at it for very long; it is going to be increased again to make sure I at least maintain and then moving back to a weight gain amount. I suppose it’s going to be a bit of ‘trial and error’ as no one knows what my weight will do but I need to try and trust my team here. 

Tomorrow mum is taking over my lunch and will be coming home from work early to do so (her boss has been fabulous and has said that she doesn’t need to take any holiday and can do all her patient notes from home instead, which is greta news). E helped me to write out a few options for lunch and dinner, making sure that all those food groups are in there - scary but essential. And then on Friday breakfast is being increased. 

So we have a plan.  I have my goals for the coming, well, 5 days... and I am trying to be okay with it.

Honestly? I feel quite detached from it all but I can’t let that stop me. E reminded me to not be so hard on myself, it’s not all going to magically get better overnight but it will get better. I need to be kind to myself. Do the things that will help me before, during and after meals. Stick to the plan. Which is not just involving changes in calories but also control of food, timings (i.e. eating earlier) and fears...it feels like too much too soon but that is all lies. Anorexia will always try to find another reason to put things off; it is either this or on a unit. And yes we are still going to be constantly reviewing how I am managing until a bed comes up and then make a decision from there. For now change cannot wait and this is non-negotiable. I need to put my trust in my team and my mum (and dad), I can’t trust myself at the moment and I need to try and accept that and put my trust in others. 

Deep breathes Kitty. THIS HAS TO HAPPEN. No negotiation.

[guardians-of-iselda]

August Wrap Up:

August was a surprisingly good month for reading, despite being very busy for me as I move house and start a new job. I read 8 books, 4 volumes of a manga and started on a graphic novel, which is the most I’ve read in a single month since probably high school. Who knew a long commute would pay off like that?

So without further ado, let’s talk about the books:

Call Me by Your Name by Andre Aciman

I read this in preparation for the movie and liked it. I gave it 3 stars on Goodreads and have a spoilery review of it. This book follows Elio, a 17 year old Italian boy who develops a relationship with a 24 year old grad student named Oliver who is staying at his house for the summer. This book is very literary, the writing style is poetic, we are trapped in Elio’s head for the whole novel, and time is a loose concept. It’s worth a read, but I personally expected more.

Star Wars Aftermath by Chuck Wendig

This is the third and final book in the Aftermath series, and concludes the story-line of Nora’s crew. Another 3 star read, and I also have a rambley review on Goodreads. There are elements in this book I liked more than in the other 2, but overall this still wasn’t great. The fact that the crew was apart yet again really wore on me, since not all characters are equal. In this case I only really cared about Sinjir and Mon Mothma, and sadly, they weren’t the main plot. I have an entire section on Rax and his terrible, wasted potential of a story-line, and while I didn’t dislike it, it was not my favorite book in the series. 

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

I read this book on a whim, was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It’s a YA fantasy, following Alina Starkov who is a map maker in the First Army of the Kingdom of Ravka. After she saves her best friend’s life during an attack, she gets ushered in the life of the Second Army composed by Grisha; powerful and beautiful sorcerers, serving the Darkling.

This is definitely a foundational book, and it has a lot to set up, and therefore a lot of problems. The world-building is by far the best part of this series, since the Grishaverse is a unique blend of technology and magic, inspired by Slavic folklore. The world has a very Attack on Titan feel, and anyone who knows me, knows that I love the first season of the anime. The characters are solid, especially Alina. 

The problems come in with the pacing and the plot: the pacing is uneven and the plot is pedestrian; we have seen all of this before. There is a love triangle that is tolerable, but if you don’t like romance as a driving force in fantasy, this may not be the series for you.

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

This book was my lowest rated in the series at two stars. Everything that bothered me in the first book was heightened in this one. The pacing was terrible, parts of the plot felt very slow and parts just flew by. We are introduced to more new characters but none of them get any real development or time to shine, and that romance…

Look, I can tolerate a love triangle, but in this book it was a love quadrant. The new addition serves only to complicate things and make Mal’s life miserable, which is sad, because by himself Nikolaj is a good character! 

There is a scene in this book that is literary a rip off of Fight Club, I screamed when I read it, it was that terrible. None of the supporting characters are developed and even established characters like Alina lose a lot of their agency because of the plot.

Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo

Talk about whiplash: this book was excellent. Everything I disliked about books 1 and 2 was fixed in this. It’s almost a 5 star read, almost. The pacing improves, the characters get developed, with actual personalities and rapport and the villain actually feels like a villain! The stakes get higher, Alina has to make some actually hard decisions and the world changes. The ending and the terrible twist are what really stop me from giving this 5 stars, but it’s a massive, almost impressive improvement.

Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

 I DNF’d this book, but I feel like it would be wrong not to mention it, since I mentioned Divergent last month.

Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for this (I tried reading it between SaB and SaS), or maybe it really sucked as much as I felt it did. Either way, I found the story more interesting in concept than execution, the changing perspectives were incredibly confusing, especially since they are all in first person (and I know that’s the whole point, but it was really hard to keep track of whose narration we were following) and none of the characters were likable enough for me to care for them. I gave it a star. 

Berserk vol 1-3 by Kentaro Miura

By the time this post goes up, I have most likely not finished vol 4, but I will probably finish it if not by the end of August then like the first few days of September. 

I have wanted to read Berserk for ages, ever since I watched the anime as a young teen. That ending destroyed me, and I was traumatized for years, I swear. The manga is similar in that it’s a very dark fantasy, following (for the first 3 volumes) Guts almost exclusively. He is a very interesting protagonist, tiptoeing on the line between being a completely irredeemable asshole and a tragic, likable antihero. I loved the first 3 volumes, especially 3, which ends with a horrifying cliffhanger (that is partly the reason why I haven’t really cracked down on vol 4). If I have one complaint, it’s: why in hell does Puck keep following Guts around? He’s so abusive to the little fairy, it makes me really think that Puck might be either a masochist or an idiot. 

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo 

This book was so amazing, I’m still in shock. Like I’m not going to lie, it’s rare that I come across a book that is so well written and so engaging that I can’t think of a single reason to dock points off. And to add to that, the plot and the characters are like, designed to appeal to me, who is in love with Heist movies, criminal masterminds and anyone who remotely resembles/sounds like Tommy Shelby. 

What’s this book about? Glad you asked. It’s a heist story following a group of six people, lead by Kaz Beckker aka Dirtyhands. They are hired to break into the most secure place in the Grishaverse; the Fjerdan Royal Palace. I’d urge you to read it, but who am I kidding, you probably already have and I’m just late to the party. 

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

This is the sequel to Six of Crows and it’s as good as the first book. It follows our gang where we left them off, facing impossible odds to beat the Merchant Counsel, the Die Lions, and the Shu, Fjerdan and Ravkan delegations all looking for the same thing the broke into the Ice Court for. I

The characters which were amazing in the first book are even better here (for the most part) and the world and stakes are greatly expanded. Not a 5 star read for me personally, but I still loved it, and if you want to know more about my thoughts, my Goodreads is linked at the bottom. 

Now for what I plan on reading in September: 

Black Monday Murders by Jonathan Hickman 

I already started this and am up to issue 4. This is a really strange series, following the children of demons, who are also part of 2 recently fused schools of economics who have been involved with all the major crashes in the market since the Great Depression (and maybe even earlier). 

There is satanism, demonology, economics, murder and time-hopping, and so far the main characters seem to be a professor, Alexei, the twin sister of one of the heirs in the company, and a detective whose grandma was a voodoo practitioner. It’s fascinating, but like all of Jonathan Hickman stuff it’s very complex and hard to get into. The art is gorgeous and I’m curious to see where this series will go. 

Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

This was on the TBR for July, but i never got around to it because of Grisha (I’m sorry Blue, it just happened). So everything I said before stays: this is the second book in the Raven Boys series, which follows a group of four boys and a girl while searching for a fabled Welsh King. It’s magical realism and from what I read of the sample, this book with focus more on Ronan, and he was my favorite character in the Raven Boys.

Eragon by Christopher Paolini

So I’ve already read this, but I read it years ago, when I was just first getting into fantasy. I remember being obsessed with the first three books, especially the first 2. I think I read Brisingr halfway and then just never finished it because my dad read it first and he said the ending sucked. But now, with years passed and the whole cycle being out, I really want to get back into this series. And Eragon is a fast read so I don’t see why I couldn’t read this.  

Now the next 3 books are a stretch, because they are all heavy high fantasy and I don’t know whether I’ll get to all of them (or whether I’ll be able too, my brain might get fried)

Nevernight by Jay Kristoff

This is an adult fantasy following a girl named Mia who watched her father get hanged for treason and joins a cult like assassin’s guild to avenge him. Honestly, sold. I read the prologue when I bought this book and it looked heavy, but exactly the type of realistic, gory fantasy that I’m into. I really hope I end up liking this book.

Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

Another adult fantasy that I’ve heard is amazing. I follow Rothfuss on twitter and he’s a hilarious man, so I’m excited for this too. Again this seems like another heavy fantasy, and it follows this wizard who now runs an inn as he tells his life story starting from his childhood. From what I know the first book ends when he is still in/gets kicked out of university, but it still sounds amazing. I need to get into this series before there’s like 10 books out and I can’t catch up.

That’s all for August, and join me again in September!

My Goodreads